When it’s last time….. It’s too late

This is the first time in my life to feel like it’s the last time doing a lot of things. By 17th of Feb-08, I’ll be out of Sudan holding one way ticket, I won’t come back to Sudan again, might be for farewell party with the business team. Almost I packed every important thing I have here and of course I’ll have to drop some stuff.

By 15th of Feb-08, I’ve completed two years working in Sudan, I can’t deny that to some extent I hated life here it was very difficult in some ways and I liked to go some where else, actually, to be with Rosa my beloved.

What I’m writing now is a sort of loud self conscious; it might means nothing for any one but my self. When I felt that I can’t stand Sudan any more and my manager was a bit difficult to deal with I asked my company for a transfer and I pushed hard in this way. Actually they'd got feeling that if no transfer I will quit.

Based on my past achievements in Sudan my managers preferred to transfer me rather than let me to go. I’ve been offered to go to Syria, one of the places that I really like and feel at home there; at least I feel I’m free.

In the last rotation a lot of things have been extremely changed, my manager became so nice and calm person and he tried so many times to keep me with him but it’s too late to change my mind.

As well I feel like I’m able to achieve a lot of work with high quality in short time and I like work more than ever, it’s a bit strange!

I found out that I didn’t hate Sudan but actually I hated being a lone for a long time. I was waiting for my Lovely Rosa to come back since one year ago, and I hate waiting by my nature, i think i'm patient more than i thought i could be.

She doesn’t manage to come back because of too many reasons and a lot of issues we’ve got, we were nearly sure a bout nothing, every thing we have is may be or may not be, nothing is clear.

This time I have got a feeling that life in Sudan is really easy and a lot of things I could do that I can’t in Cairo. When I’m at home I feel like doing nothing, sometimes stay home for very long time without going out, and may be because I’ve got a few friends now. Most of my friends have got married and they prefer to be home rather than going out with any one.

As well it is not fun to be with married people whom complaining most of the time of their wife’s or kids, or they are, most of the time, desperate for someone to listen to them.

Actually it’s too late to know that, all what I’ve missed in Sudan is someone to share me the life, or having a friends, most of the time I was waiting and couldn’t see the things in a proper way so I have missed a lot of things and it was a big mistake to line-up every thing to someone.

I feel like a cycle of my life is going to be completely finished and another one is going to start soon, hoping all will be better.

As well Rosa's going back home to start her new law job, she is really happy and excited to do law, and sincerely I wish her the best of all and bright future with whatever she likes.

In Sudan it’s quite easy to have friends to hang around with and this time I’ve got wonderful friends, most of them educated out side Sudan and so they are open minded. They like me a lot; also I’ve got them when it’s too late. Every night they call me to go around with them, usually I see them when I have time or more precisely I don’t like to go out every night, they are such lovely company to spend some time with.

I feel like I was wrong a bout my decision to quit Sudan where life can be easy easy, very easy business any way that’s life sometimes it’s too late to know.

Most of the time I know what to do when it’s too late, hoping it’s not too late any more.

Next one will be funny, can't wait to publish it!

London-Dec-07

Again i went to London, dec-07 to meet rosa and to celeberate the new year, it was amazing and so nice night we had in london.

This time was different than every time, we meet this time after a long hard time we had as well rosa was free, days off. so it was a great chance to be together for a long time.

we hired a car, very nice one, rosa drove us a round the cots wold state, every night in a new village and staying in different guest house, such unique thing to do, every night in different place with new people.

of course rosa was driving all the time as i can't drive in England as i'm used to drive left hand side, most of the time i was so confused and had a feeling like we were going in the wrong direction.

while rosa was driving i had to guide her using maps may be for the first time in my life, in cairo we're not used to do so, simply i know how to go around in cairo and most of the time relay on taxi.

it was the most difficult job for me to do is to use the maps correctly, but to some extent it was ok and i did not too bad.

such lovely week passed so quickly and i had to go back to cairo like every time i visit rosa, just for one night in Cairo and straight to Khartoum.

this time in Khartoum is my last rotation this i am sure about but i do not know where is the next step, hoping some where better.

London in Nov-07

I was in London, of course to meet Rosa. It was a bit cold and i don't like to go around in such weather especially when I have to put a lot of clothes on. Rosa was quite busy with her company as the project was at the peak. I had most of the time browsing on the internet trying to hunt a job in the UK or around. Actually finding a job is so tiring and sometimes frustrating unless you are so lucky, i hate doing so.After so many trials i had manage to meet a manager from Halliburton and he was positively impressed a bout my resume, to some extent i do believe he was so because we were meet a couple of years ago while i was working in Tunisia.Any way I’ve been promised to get a job with him and actually he is so nice person and flexible as well, he is ready to help me to be based in Paris or UK, of course i would be in Paris, it is so wonderful and I would to be there for sometime of my life.

At the week end we went to the beautiful Brighton, it’s very nice town by the see side. It’s very nice place for the relaxation away of London.
We watched the rugby final match between England and South Africa; actually I don’t know the game rules. When England lost the game, a women was in the bar started crying and screaming, I was wondering why she is doing so, Rosa said to me she is crying over other things, the match results just was a start.

The other day we were going around in the beautiful Brighton, we decided to read tarots, Rosa started the man told her nothing but “you have to make some decisions, stars can’t tell you specific decisions”.

Then was my turn, he was so confident saying to me “your starts are shinning, a new cycle of your life is about to start” he was so positive about every thing, I said I don’t believe I’m that lucky man, he said you’re. Then he added that you’re very tired because you are holding things in your hand more than you should, I don’t understand I replied. You take a long time to make a decision and this is why you are tired and exhausted most of the time, he explained to me.

Eventually we paid £40 for him, such easy job and profitable rather than engineering and law!
After that busy time with Rosa, we have manage to go to Paris for a visit, we stayed there 4 nights, it was such nice and lovely time we had ever, walking a round the Latin quarter and pretending that we know Paris very well, we were not really. Rosa was happy to practise her little French every where.We were staying in a hotel beside the airport, it was awful one and quite far from the down town.
One day we ordered a hot chocolate, we’ve got it after 2 hours and 10 times calling them to do so.In the next day the hotel was so full because of the air France strike, we can’t find any thing to have on the breakfast, we tried to complain about it, sorry the hotel is full, the clerk said to us.After such lovely time we went back to London, i felt that Paris is much far nicer and lively than London in a lot of waysthen i had to fly back to Cairo for a couple of nights then back to Khartoum where i am working