When it’s last time….. It’s too late

This is the first time in my life to feel like it’s the last time doing a lot of things. By 17th of Feb-08, I’ll be out of Sudan holding one way ticket, I won’t come back to Sudan again, might be for farewell party with the business team. Almost I packed every important thing I have here and of course I’ll have to drop some stuff.

By 15th of Feb-08, I’ve completed two years working in Sudan, I can’t deny that to some extent I hated life here it was very difficult in some ways and I liked to go some where else, actually, to be with Rosa my beloved.

What I’m writing now is a sort of loud self conscious; it might means nothing for any one but my self. When I felt that I can’t stand Sudan any more and my manager was a bit difficult to deal with I asked my company for a transfer and I pushed hard in this way. Actually they'd got feeling that if no transfer I will quit.

Based on my past achievements in Sudan my managers preferred to transfer me rather than let me to go. I’ve been offered to go to Syria, one of the places that I really like and feel at home there; at least I feel I’m free.

In the last rotation a lot of things have been extremely changed, my manager became so nice and calm person and he tried so many times to keep me with him but it’s too late to change my mind.

As well I feel like I’m able to achieve a lot of work with high quality in short time and I like work more than ever, it’s a bit strange!

I found out that I didn’t hate Sudan but actually I hated being a lone for a long time. I was waiting for my Lovely Rosa to come back since one year ago, and I hate waiting by my nature, i think i'm patient more than i thought i could be.

She doesn’t manage to come back because of too many reasons and a lot of issues we’ve got, we were nearly sure a bout nothing, every thing we have is may be or may not be, nothing is clear.

This time I have got a feeling that life in Sudan is really easy and a lot of things I could do that I can’t in Cairo. When I’m at home I feel like doing nothing, sometimes stay home for very long time without going out, and may be because I’ve got a few friends now. Most of my friends have got married and they prefer to be home rather than going out with any one.

As well it is not fun to be with married people whom complaining most of the time of their wife’s or kids, or they are, most of the time, desperate for someone to listen to them.

Actually it’s too late to know that, all what I’ve missed in Sudan is someone to share me the life, or having a friends, most of the time I was waiting and couldn’t see the things in a proper way so I have missed a lot of things and it was a big mistake to line-up every thing to someone.

I feel like a cycle of my life is going to be completely finished and another one is going to start soon, hoping all will be better.

As well Rosa's going back home to start her new law job, she is really happy and excited to do law, and sincerely I wish her the best of all and bright future with whatever she likes.

In Sudan it’s quite easy to have friends to hang around with and this time I’ve got wonderful friends, most of them educated out side Sudan and so they are open minded. They like me a lot; also I’ve got them when it’s too late. Every night they call me to go around with them, usually I see them when I have time or more precisely I don’t like to go out every night, they are such lovely company to spend some time with.

I feel like I was wrong a bout my decision to quit Sudan where life can be easy easy, very easy business any way that’s life sometimes it’s too late to know.

Most of the time I know what to do when it’s too late, hoping it’s not too late any more.

Next one will be funny, can't wait to publish it!